Sunday, January 17, 2010

So much to say....

but it just won't come out yet.
Feeling raw, sad, happy, like Im missing an essential part of my life, tired, my body hurts, and relief....all jumbled together.

Cried in the grocery store because of a stupid Lionel Richie song that took me back to when my mom was living in a halfway house and I would sometimes visit....we were in her little was dark...the radio was on playing that song...I was lying on the floor, mom in her bed...she was smoking and all I saw was the orange red tip of her cigarette and I breathed in the smoke.

Evidently the police officer found my crying suspicious because he walked over and stood at the end of the checkout I was in and glared at me.


Hermana Linda said...

I'm sure you already know this, but that kind of reaction is perfectly normal. I'm so sorry that the police officer treated you that way. I guess that means that he has never been acquainted with grief. Most people should be able to recognize it when they see it. (((hugs)))

mimi said...

When I was going through one of the roughest times of my life(and grieving)...the grocery store was the hardest place for me to be. I would feel physically ill just walking through the doors...everyone going about their business, music playing, necessities on the shelf....but my world was turned upside down(anything but normal). Anyway..I'm babbling. Wish I lived closer to take you out for a chocolate stout, but I'm far away and praying for you.