Tuesday, October 13, 2009

It seems....

That life is racing past me and Im not grabbing on....but just standing and watching and...

The kids are changing more and more each day, there are so many things to finish....or begin... laundry is undone, walls need painted, plates need washing, weeds need pulling, phone calls go unreturned, my mom's transplant failed and there are no other treatment options. Am I missing optimal windows for teaching the kids things they need, will need, may never need??

Things pile up, my stress level grows...showing itself in various forms...twitching left eye, clenching teeth, grinding my teeth while sleeping, crying in my sleep, chest pains, insomnia.

Everything spins....Im stuck...

My dreams are all about loss...of things that Im aware of, and losing things I never knew I had to begin with....extra rooms in my house...a child that slept on a bed for years waiting for me but now she has to go.

Someday....maybe....things will return to some level of calm.....


2 comments:

mimi said...

I hear you sista'! Oh, how I hear you!

I'm so sorry about your mom's transplant!

Hermana Linda said...

I'm so sorry. I pray for your mom every night. I'll start praying for you, as well.